There’s a Bob at every party. Someone convinced he’s a master of emotional intelligence, but blind to his own blind spots. The real irony? The more certain we are of our emotional savvy, the more likely we’re missing the mark.

Mixed emotions are a common occurrence. One piece of research suggests that we experience them up to 36% of the time in our daily lives. Moments of delight are often intertwined with disappointment. but we struggle with allowing opposing emotions to co-exist.